The Back-to-School Cookie Cake and the Ache of Letting Go 🩷

Every year since Caleb started kindergarten, we’ve had a back-to-school cookie cake. It’s silly, simple, and sugary, but it’s been our tradition. A way to mark another year, another step forward, another season of life.

This morning, as my three kids stood there holding that same cookie cake, my heart caught in my throat. Because instead of three little faces grinning with frosting-stained fingers, I saw my big kids smiling back at me.

Breakfast, French Toast, and a Barn Run

Caleb rolled in at midnight, exhausted from a long week at work, and slept just a few hours before waking up to grab a few things from our barn this morning. By mid-morning, he was gone again, off to move into his new rent house in Lubbock.

Before he left, we cooked a big breakfast, Matt’s famous French toast (per Caleb’s request). We filled the table with laughter, plates piled high, and tried to stretch those few hours into something that would last. And of course, out came the cookie cake. 🍪

It felt like we were holding onto two worlds at once, the past where I was the mom packing lunches and picking out backpacks, and the present where my grown kids are stepping boldly into their futures.

Caleb is thriving in his job in HVAC and starting life in his new house.
Jacob is preparing for his second year at Baylor, stepping into Kinesiology with a heavy course load.
Chloe, my baby girl, is about to start her senior year of high school, still my homeschooled princess, still the competitive cheerleader on a Worlds dream.

Maegan, Caleb’s fiancée, is beginning nursing school in Lubbock.
Katelyn, Jacob’s girlfriend, is diving into her second year at Texas A&M.

They’re all forging their own lives. Not always the way I would do it, but in the way they’re learning to figure it out. And as Proverbs 22:6 reminds me, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This is my prayer!!

The Paradox of Motherhood

That’s the paradox of motherhood: you pray over them daily, asking God to protect them, to guide their choices, and to help them remember the truths you tucked into their hearts. You hope the traditions you started, the prayers whispered at bedtime, and even the dumb little things like cookie cakes stick with them long after they’ve gone.

Here’s the raw truth: no one prepares you for this part.

When you’re a mom, you start by giving your body to carry them. Then you give your heart, your sleep, your dreams, your whole self, piece by piece, over years of raising them.

And then one day, they fly. They launch. And suddenly, your heart is walking around outside your body in grown-up shoes!!

It’s beautiful. It’s brutal. It’s both.

Perimenopause and the Identity Shift

Being middle-aged adds another layer to all this. Perimenopause is already its own wild ride, your body is changing AGAIN, your emotions are unpredictable, and you’re trying to rediscover who you are!! Add in watching your kids launch, and it’s a whole new kind of identity shift.

It feels like you’re being asked to find yourself all over again. To figure out your purpose beyond being the mom who was needed for everything, all day, and every day!

No one tells you how disorienting it can feel to go from being the center of their little universe to standing on the sidelines, cheering them on as they create their own life.

And yet, in Isaiah 54:13, God gives a promise that brings me peace: “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.” Even in the messy middle, He holds them closer than I ever could. He loves them more than I do.

Prayers and Traditions

Here’s what keeps me anchored: prayer and tradition.

Every day, I pray God’s protection over them. I pray He guides their choices. I pray they remember the ways we raised them, the things we taught them, and the truth of His Word.

I cling to Philippians 1:6: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” The same God who started their story is faithful to finish it.

And I hope those little traditions, the cookie cakes, the bedtime stories, the silly sayings, the games, the prayers whispered in the dark, live on in their hearts. Because those things were never really about sugar or routine. They were about LOVE and family. About anchoring them in something steady when the world felt uncertain.

Being a mom is still my greatest honor and joy. Nothing compares to it. And though letting go is unbelievably hard, a kind of ache that words can’t fully hold, there is nothing like seeing your kids thrive.

This season has taught me that motherhood isn’t just about raising kids. It’s about releasing them, too. And that release is where the real faith comes in.

Psalm 34:18 says: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” He sees the ache of every momma heart learning to let go.

To the Moms in This Season

If you’re reading this and you’re in the same stage of watching your babies grow into adults, finding your footing again, navigating the wild mix of grief, joy, and pride, I want you to know you’re NOT alone.

It’s okay to feel the ache. It’s okay to cry over cookie cakes and French toast breakfasts. It’s okay to grieve the season that’s passed while celebrating the season they’re stepping into.

Motherhood is the craziest, most beautiful, most heart-wrenching ride there is!!! And no matter how old our kids get, our hearts will always be walking around outside our bodies.

🦋 Warrior Mom Truth 🦋

Even when it hurts to let go, you are still their momma!! Your love, your prayers, your traditions, and your faith go with them wherever they go. A Warrior Mom doesn’t stop fighting when her kids leave the nest, she keeps standing in the gap, trusting the God who holds her children and know that is the same God who holds her!!

Here’s to old traditions, new beginnings, and mommas who never stop loving fiercely. 💕

With all my love,

🩷 Jenn Robb/Warrior Mom

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